Book review of The Surrendered Wife by Laura Kelly

by Chula

I was excited to find in the mainstream media a book I thought could help me in my quest to thrive in submission to my husband. While there are many interesting and valid points in the book, I cannot recommend it as a book that will build up a Christian wife in her journey toward a better marriage.

The main tenets of the book seem to emphasize the idea of surrender being all about the woman and her choices. Doyle's theory seems to be that when a woman starts to focus on her own needs and desires, her husband will naturally want to fulfill those desires. The wife will then have more energy to be a more attractive person who will inspire more intimacy from her husband. Doyle encourages women to spend their excess energy on themselves and refuse to give help even when asked. She recommends not communicating with husbands honestly about surrender. Surrender differs widely from submission in these and many other points, but there are some ideas both share.

There are some ideas that Doyle explores in the book that can also help a Christian reader in her goal of learning more about submission. According to Doyle, when a woman surrenders, she is giving up trying to control her husband. That much meshes nicely with the idea of submission. Doyle also outlines very realistically what a woman can expect in the way of roller coaster rides when it comes to changing a marriage. I think any woman can gain from reading about how any journey toward a better marriage will not be one of constant triumph. There will be pitfalls and Doyle gives some thoughtful warnings that anyone could benefit from reading.

Above all, respect for the husband is something both the surrendered wife and the submissive wife share. Doyles treatment of this topic is interesting and convincing. I found the book worth reading for those chapters alone.

So while a Christian reader will have to pick and choose which ideas will benefit her and which should be left alone, the book is worth the relatively short time it will take to read.

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