Warning:  This book review discusses issues that we would rather avoid on this website. When we decided to open this site, our goal was to provide a tasteful and respectful place where couples could come to learn about this lifestyle, with no fear of being bombarded with pictures, advertising, pop-ups, or written material that many would find offensive.  There certainly are plenty of OTHER places to go if that’s what someone wants to see!

That having been said, please be warned that this review violates some of that.  It discusses – as discretely as possible, but still with some amount of detail, some of the most offensive material we could imagine, “disguising” itself as domestic discipline.

It was a difficult decision to publish this.  We were forced to wrestle with a tough question.  Was it better to say NOTHING about a publication that we found utterly offensive, and risk that many of you might run across it – and innocently order it, or do we say what we want about it, and risk that we might be providing free publicity? And, if we post the review, then we must offer a certain level of “explicitness.”  If we said, “Don’t buy this book because it’s ‘bad,’ and we won’t say any more,” that’s hardly helpful either.

In the end, we’ve decided that this website is about a lot of things, but one of them is honestly and maturity and taking responsibility  We owe it to you to give you an honest review, because after all you’re coming here for information, and we believe that accurate information about this publication should be made public. But be warned, some explicit topics are discussed here, in very frank language.

Mr LovingDD is NOT

The books we are reviewing here are written by a person who calls himself Mr LovingDD and are sold via Lulu, just as we sell our books.  We’re not going to play games and make you search. To make it simple, we have provided the links to Mr LovingDD’s blog at the end of this review, so if you want to check it out for yourself you can.  We do ask one thing, and that is that you read the entire review before you click.

The first book in the series is entitled LDD, which stands for “Loving Domestic Discipline.”  It is  available in print (558 pages, $24.95) or via download (338 pages, $11.95).  The self-written website description is glowing.  If you’re interested in a DD lifestyle, how could you NOT buy the following?

“Imagine owning the definitive reference on domestic discipline. Think about how clear and simple this wonderful lifestyle will be when you own the Loving Domestic Discipline book. By the time you finish reading the LDD Book, you will have a full understanding of everything you need to get started. Unlock the secrets of relationship bliss. Discover personal peace. Learn the secrets of a successful marriage. Are you beginning to see how your life could change for the better with LDD? … Buy the LDD Book now and change your life."

That sold us, and this book (when taken alone, important point, PLEASE keep reading!) does contain some material (practical information on positions, implements, etc) which is of value for the novice, though how ANYONE can write 558 pages of unrelieved text on a subject even as interesting as spanking is pretty mystifying.  And, truthfully, on those topics, while the treatment of them is adequate, this book contains nothing special that can’t be found a hundred other places.

However, as one reads (and reads and reads and reads - it IS 558 pages), things start to become a bit “jarring.”   The discussion is so thoroughly and so totally from the HOH point of view, that it begins to feel more like a book on dog training than anything else.  Most of us WISH sometimes that there was more “out there” from the men’s point of view, but Mr. LovingDD’s unrelenting POV, with no relief from a female partner or the “other side,” is at first disconcerting, then quickly becomes annoying, and then just plain “wrong.”   And then the obvious answer becomes clear. This is all theory;  there is no partner.

However, this is not the main source of our extreme objections to Mr LovingDD or his writings.  Taken alone, the first book, while too long and feeling, at the very least, "odd", would be something that we would probably not take a strong stand on, either one way or another.  But when taken with his subsequent publication, a different, and very troubling, picture emerges. 

Mr. LovingDD sells a second book, ALDD (Advanced Loving Domestic Discipline.)    This book is NOT available by download, only via print, for the staggering price of $50.00.   Yep, you read right.  $50.00    We quote here directly from Mr LovingDD’s blog:

"This book is not for everyone…  The Advanced LDD Book has been priced unusually high. The high price is not an accident. It is completely intentional. The price is meant to discourage casual readers from purchasing it. The Advanced LDD Book is not intended for the person who thinks that conventional LDD is just fine the way it is. It is intended for people who want a definition of Loving Domestic Discipline that includes their practices which would normally fall outside the conventional definition of Loving Domestic Discipline. These people do not deserve to be excluded. This book is for them.

Another feature of the Advanced LDD Book is that it breaks with a major principle of regular Loving Domestic Discipline. In LDD, one of the cardinal rules is that discipline should be both safe and simple. This rule is treated more flexibly in the Advanced LDD Book. In Advanced LDD, disciplinary techniques are described that are less safe, both in physical terms and in emotional terms. These are not for everyone and therefore the average LDD person needs to be discouraged from reading this book.

In the Advanced LDD Book, some of the disciplinary techniques described are physically risky and require more care and experience than regular LDD techniques. Some of the Advanced LDD disciplinary techniques are a lot more emotionally risky. Some techniques are even potentially legally risky, although that risk extends even to conventional LDD. They are certainly not for everyone and I would never recommend them to everyone. But, for a certain percentage of people, they are not only acceptable, they are ideal."  

Ideal.  Please remember that word as you read on.

We are reminded very much of those TV commercials for  “Leptoprin” ( a product which magically dissolves belly fat, - yeah, we wish) which assure us that Leptoprin is NOT for everyone, NOT for the casual dieter.  We’re advised somberly by a lab-coated woman that “most” people should not buy the product.  Mr Loving DD has parleyed the same strategy to great effect, pushing his $50.00 book into the top 500 of Lulu sales.

And what are these “expanded techniques” that one learns in Advanced LDD?  To completely debunk the intentionally intriguing mystery, let it be said here unequivocally:  this is nothing but a book that touts the most extreme that the BDSM world has to offer, but couches it in “domestic discipline” terms. The result is foul, horrible, disgusting, and abjectly offensive. In fact, this second book is so outrageous that it may be a farce.  Mr  LovingDD is probably laughing all the way to the bank.

When taken in conjunction with the second book, the initial book in the series starts to appear as nothing but a "teaser," existing primarily to sell the outrageously priced and intentionally mysterious Book 2.  

At the core of ALDD is the premise that really the most effective discipline technique of all is humiliation.  Spanking works, he argues, in traditional DD because it is humiliating for an adult woman to have her bare bottom paddled.  To quote the first section of this book, “Without humiliation, a spanking is just a session involving physical pain.  It is almost like visiting the dentist, where a certain amount of physical pain is involved.  Yet a visit to the dentist should not normally involve humiliation.  It would serve no useful purpose because it would not improve oral health or hygiene.  Pain on its own teaches a woman nothing.”  We certainly need to concede the point that there is more to spanking than "pain," and that it really is the emotion component that makes it effective. But most of us would disagree that the emotional component is "humiliation."

But Mr LovingDD insists that humiliation is the key, and then he takes it farther.  If a little humiliation is good, a lot is better.  Much better.  And if a lot of humiliation is much better, extreme humiliation is the Holy Grail of Domestic Discipline.  And that’s what this book is.  A long and excruciatingly detailed shopping list of extreme humiliation techniques that have nothing to do with loving or domestic discipline.

Where do we start with these ideal techniques?

Well, among other things, ALDD suggests forcing the partner to perform fellatio after a spanking while she is sobbing.  This discipline technique even has a name: Tearful Fellatio.  We quote (at some length): It is quite common that the woman will need little or no prompting to start performing Tearful Fellatio when she is sobbing and submissive after her spanking.  She will naturally want to perform this simple, feminine act of submission.   She will often be quite desperate to kneel in front of her HOH, to take his penis in her mouth and to perform submissive oral sex on him…. It will often not be necessary to order the sobbing woman to perform Tearful Fellatio, because she will already have a strong urge to do so… For this reason, it is often advisable to make the freshly punished, crying woman to ask her HOH respectfully to be allowed to perform Tearful Fellatio… Being made to beg will further improve her sense of femininity… While it is the woman’s duty to continue fellating her HOH, it is her HOH’s duty to ensure that she continues crying during the entire process… the HOH can continue to spank his woman as necessary during the Tearful Fellatio that follows her initial punishment.” 

Mr LovingDD is a practical fellow, though, and he acknowledges some logistical problems with this.  Spanking a woman back to tears if she stops crying while performing Tearful Fellatio would interrupt the “flow” of the activity.  The solution however, is simple.  If  the HOH is worried that his partner will stop her sobbing while performing Tearful Fellatio, he need only arm himself with an implement prior to her beginning the activity.  “If she can see him holding the implement in his hand before she starts sucking, so much the better.  The sight of the implement will shame and humiliate her because she knows that it is reserved for use if her sobbing stops for some reason.  She knows that she is still subject to immediate and painful discipline as she kneels and sucks her HOH.” Can't spank her bottom to get her crying again because she's out of position while performing Tearful Fellatio? No problem, because again Mr LovingDD has a solution. Subject her to either "Breast Discipline" or "Frontal Discipline" and she's sobbing hysterically in no time.

If this is not enough (and apparently it is not for Mr LovingDD) the book goes on to describe other "ideal" techniques. He describes both Toilet Training, which is being required to urinate on command in front of your HOH. (Make sure she drinks plenty every day, he advises; not only will she be able to pee on command, but it's actually good for her!) and Toilet Discipline.  Toilet Discipline is, not to mince any words, being required, as “discipline” to drink urine, sometimes her own, but usually the partner’s.  Mr LovingDD tells us that: “The HOH peeing directly into his woman’s mouth is an experience of great shame, humiliation, and also submission for her.  It give the woman a profound experience of her own femininity and submission when she kneels before her HOH and sees and feels him peeing into her open mouth… A woman should also make sure that she swallows all of the pee that her HOH has put into her mouth.   If she only swallows part of it, because she has surreptitiously allowed some of it to trickle out of the sides of her mouth, she is guilty of even more serious disobedience…  The severity of her Disobedience Discipline should reflect the seriousness of her disobedience and dishonesty.  The woman should regard her HOH’s pee as a gift… It is being administered to her to teach her obedience, honesty, respect, submission, and femininity.” 

Mr LovingDD goes on to list the practical advantages of this.  If, for example, the woman needs to be “disciplined” while they are watching TV, he can urinate into her mouth and she can drink it.  The benefits?  “The HOH will have successfully disciplined his woman as well as conveniently emptied his bladder without ever leaving the couch.”   (Yes, this is a quote.  We are not making this up, and it’s the occasional line like this which makes us wonder if this whole thing is not an incredibly bizarre joke, but the truth is there’s no way of knowing.)

Lest one believe that Mr LovingDD does not have the partner’s best interests at heart, let us reassure you. One reason Toilet Discipline should be practiced, he advises us, is that traditional oral punishments, like washing a mouth out with soap, should be avoided due to the fact that soap can irritate a woman’s “delicate” intestines.  Her husband’s urine, however, because it is “hygienic” is the perfect alternative.

In just a few places in the book, Mr LovingDD refers to the woman as “the slut.” It's so few that one gets the feel it's an accident. It’s almost as if this material was originally written for (or perhaps plagiarized from) a BDSM or Master/Slave website, and repackaged for the DD “market,” the goal being to edit out the blatantly BDSM "markers" like “slut,” but unfortunately, in a hasty editing job, a few were missed. 

There are countless other equally offensive examples, but the goal of this review is to give you the general “feel” without become gratuitous, so we're going to stop here. We hope you'll take our word on Proxy Punishment, Double Punishment, Anal Discipline, Frontal Discipline, Breast Discipline, and Waxing.  It's all horrible.

At least one other reviewer (reviewing the initial book in the series, LDD, … it’s clear she has not read ALDD) has commented on the utter lack of any mention of a partner in Mr LovingDD’s writing, his website, or his blog, and has speculated that there is no partner.  (Click here to read the discussion, which contains some other observations about Mr LovingDD.) We, here at Christiandd.com would like to go on record as having the same opinion.

There is no partner, no DD and no loving.  Whether this individual is living an incredibly sick fantasy in his basement somewhere, having plagiarized an enormous amount of information from the internet and simply reworked it OR whether he is a completely crafty charlatan, we cannot say.  Probably, frankly, he is both.

Mr LovingDD is NOT.  It is our opinion that the entire first book, which when taken alone DOES have limited useful information, is NOTHING but a “front” to sell this utterly offensive and ridiculously expensive second book. We have provided this information in the sincere hope that people will avoid him, his website, and his publications. 

(January, 2008 – Update:  Just as this review was being written and published, a change has occurred on Mr LovingDD’s blog.    The book reviewed here, ALDD is no longer available in its original form.  The original ALDD has now been split into two books, ALDD1 and ALDD2.   Both cost $29.95, so NOW, the first part of the “program” costs $60.00 instead of $50.00.  There’s an additional book, not surprisingly called ALDD3, also priced at $29.95, also available ONLY in print, not via download.  As could be expected, no specifics are given in the book’s description, but we are told that this book is “a whole new level” beyond ALLD2 (though what could be beyond licking urine off the floor, we cannot imagine).   Consider:  “The sexual submission chapter in particular is worth the cost of the book alone, because it explains how sexual submission is a natural, normal and healthy aspect…”  and “ Learn about new Casual Discipline techniques that create instant submission.”  Yeah, right.  We have made the decision not to further pad Mr LovingDD’s pockets, so we must make it clear that we have not purchased and will not purchase this third book.  But based on 1 and 2, we see no need to.)

This person is most assuredly not in a genuine DD relationship. His writings have nothing to do with domestic discipline.  Please avoid his website, blog, publications, and discussion groups.

Emma and Annie

As promised, here is the link to his blog. Again, this is being offered only because we don't want to play games and make you search if you want to read it for yourselves. Please do not buy or order from this person.

Copyright © 2007 by Christian DD Group.